The Miracle - II

 2 weeks after the miracle guy(I like to call him as "The Bird"- the bird Allah used to send a message to me, telling me that He heard me), I met another family. I didn't like the guy, I was still not over the previous proposal yet, but everyone pushed me to give it a chance and I thought I shall. It was first a video call with his family, I didn't really hope for anything, I just hoped that they wouldn't want me.

His family kept calling before that too, continuously, almost everyday that it disturbed my sense of peace, to an extent that I wanted to just run away. And I hated the nervousness and anxiety that came with it. The fear and I kept wishing I could get the chance to visit another guy who was supposed to come but couldn't as his dad got hospitalized and the family situations changed, making marriage their least priority. His family visited, they spoke well, his cousins looked well educated, but I didn't like his mom. She seemed too pushy, too clingy, as though she was trying to catch a fish by throwing a net. The way her eyes glittered as though she saw me as a whale rather than a human being, the way they kept calling after leaving too. It disturbed my sense of peace, why can't they just say once and leave us? Why do they have to call us everyday and check on us? It felt as though they kept crossing boundaries and I felt completely unsafe.

My parents were so sure it's THE ONE that they stopped looking for proposals. This went on for a month. My parents were supposed to meet the guy the following week but work came in between and Allah did not will it. It was the week, my fear and anxiety was at peak and I texted my teacher and she said something that calmed my heart.

"Why do you think Allah (swt) made the fire cool for Ibrahim (as)?" I said, "I don't know." She replied, "He could have sent down rain and extinguished the flames, or make the people who were gonna throw him into the fire powerless but Allah(swt) did not remove the fire, in fact He made it peacefully cool for Ibrahim(as). The fire burnt a bird flying close to it but not Ibrahim(as). Sometimes in life, Allah(swt) does not change our circumstances. The miracle doesn't come by the change in circumstance, or getting out of it. Sometimes the miracle is that the circumstance doesn't affect us the way it should, instead of it burning, it becomes peacefully calm." And my heart settled with a calmness and peace I hadn't felt before and with a clarity I never had before. 

I thought it meant that was the end, now that I don't feel the fear anymore, it just means that my test is coming to an end and maybe this pushy guy is the one whom I'll marry. And I was ready for both outcomes, I prepared the questions to ask, and convinced myself I will judge him for who he is without the preconceived notions of his family.

The guy came the next week with his uncle, I didn't like him the moment I saw him. He looked too different from the photographs but I thought I should give his personality a chance. I had a conversation with him, and we realized we were too different, with absolutely nothing in common, he wasn't a bad guy. But our visions weren't aligned. He was simply there because his family had made the choice. I didn't have to do anything, my parents didn't really like him either and I think he realized too that we weren't comfortable with each other. None of us got back. The proposal fell through and I was so grateful to Allah swt. 

But from that day, I heard the story of the fire and Ibrahim (as), the state of my heart changed, it wasn't fearful anymore. It knew with certainty that it is the Lord of the Worlds who is in control and that there is NO POWER except Him.